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Keep On Keeping On

  • Gord 
  • 3 min read

So I did it again. Started a blog with every intention of posting to it more than once a week, and over a month in this is now my first post in almost three weeks.


I’ve had a lot going on OK?

Img 0028 | watchful soul
Me a few weeks ago standing on a log in Amsterdam… Just before everything hit the fan

About a month ago, I was signed off work with “mixed anxiety and depression”, and have been prescribed some medication. My mental health has been on a decline for a while now, and despite my best attempts to push through things and deal with everything myself, I’ve not been handling things as well as I thought. I’m ashamed that it took me sinking this low to be able to take the steps I needed to deal with things but here we are.

So the last couple of weeks have been pretty bleak in many ways. And I’ve been putting off writing anything here, partly out of a lack of motivation, and partly through fear that admitting my struggles will somehow make them worse. The latter of which is a ridiculous notion, as I know that I am a CHRONIC over-thinker, and always assume situations are going to turn out far worse than they actually do. (That’s called catastrophising apparently.)

But I’m not going to let it beat me, or stop me from flourishing in life. I’ve started to catch myself when negative thought patterns arise, stopping myself, and reminding myself that I’m allowed to relax. I’ve got a new app on my phone, that pings me motivational affirmations 10 times a day, to give me a much-needed boost at random points in the day. And I’m spending time doing things that I enjoy, and pursuing new passions like tarot and Tai Chi.

Slowly but surely, things are improving. The weather is certainly helping as well.

I’m going to try and keep at this. My inner critic is awful, so I’m trying to ignore them more and step out of my comfort zone. This means posting things when I don’t feel like they are perfect, but that’s OK. This blog is my space. I don’t have to have everything figured out, and I’m allowed to change my mind about things.

So I’m going to keep on keeping on. Taking things one step at a time, but hopefully moving closer towards health and healing with each step.

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